The X-Factor

We live in a life that seems to rob us of happiness at every turn. Very pessimistic view of reality, but somehow true. For example, why? Why did you have to cut off my Will and Grace, or Sex and the City? Porque? I mean, if that isn’t a direct stake to my heart then what is? Well…

Recently I was at this place, when I met my last ex, the one I had a relationship with, which was rather platonic on many levels. In anycase, I was there with my friends having a vodka martini, after god knows how many tequilas, and suddenly I see my ex. It’s like a something prompted me to raise my head up. As a reactive instinct I slid backwards behind my friends… and hid. I mean come on, it’s not something I would usually do. I was there, looking absolutely fabulous (I was, what can I say… ;) ) and I simply hid. It’s not a case of not being over someone. It’s more of ‘crap’... I mean even when you get over someone, the scars of your past relationships, the ones that meant something, are still visible and there so you know how I feel.
When you break up with someone, you mourn your loss and eventually move on. Moving on is the tricky bit. To prevent any relapse of pain, you do your best to avoid that other person who smashed your heart against the walls of life (dramatic but that’s how many people feel). Everywhere becomes filled with emotional landmines. You think thoroughly before going out asking questions of the type; Will my ex be there? Will he/she be with someone? Or else you end up crossing places off your list because you might associate them with memories of you two together. Geez, not only relationships are hard to maintain, but you also get a bloody aftermath most of the times.

A friend of mine once told me that to get over someone you must spend half the amount of time you were in that relationship mourning the loss. Then move on… does it work so easily? What I usually do after a break up is enter this high state of ‘perfection’. I mean Malta is a small country and you are bound to encounter your ex at some point in time. What I do is make sure I look my best everywhere I go. For starters it makes me feel better with myself since I’ll be goodlooking. Also if I run into my ex, god forbid, the last thing you want to do is show him/her you’re a mess. It would be better if you gave him/her the impression you’re doing great- you’re single, stunning and fabulously enjoying it, always hoping he/she feels the regret of what was lost… as much as you do.

Then there is the reverse affect. You meet your ex, and once again you look fabulous, and surprisingly enough he/she is happy to see you. They smile at you ask you how you are, what you been up to and so on. All of a sudden, a stranger comes up to the two of you and establishes his/her presence there. You’re “do you mind this is private”, like you’re trying to show your ex you’re kind of into him/her. Then this stranger, puts his/her arm around your ex. ‘Crap’…it’s your ex’s new partner! Nice work ding-bat you just made yourself the biggest looser/fool/desperado of the century, while that SOB/dumb b#@$ard/mo-fo of your ex enjoyed the whole charade. Compose yourself and leave-planning a distasteful revenge.

We are trying to survive a world where ‘all good things come to an end’. Pretty grim I know but somehow true. Then again it’s our life. So we should try to fill it with as much things that make us feel good – trash the things that you don’t like, including your ex, press the ‘next’ on your life remote controller and say ‘oh he/she is cute’, smile and don’t forget, being single is another fun part of life. Cheers ppl...


M@U